Grief and bereavement

Overview

Grief can involve sadness, numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt and physical exhaustion. Feelings may change unexpectedly, including around reminders or ordinary events. There is no required sequence of emotions and no single way to grieve. Different responses within the same family do not necessarily mean someone is coping better or caring less.

Loss can also change practical life: companionship, caring roles, routines and a sense of security. Support may be useful even when grief is a natural response. If distress is overwhelming or ordinary functioning remains very difficult, a clinical discussion can consider additional needs without treating every painful feeling as an illness.

By telephone

You can focus on what is hardest now rather than retelling the whole story of the loss. A conversation may cover sleep, appetite, isolation, responsibilities and whether you have someone to talk to. Explain any particularly distressing circumstances or reminders only to the extent you feel able to discuss them.

It is useful to distinguish emotional support from practical help you may also need. You might want information about bereavement services, an assessment of persistent low mood or help making sense of changes in your health. Say what feels supportive and what has felt unhelpful; preferences about company, rituals and talking can differ.

What cannot be done remotely

A telephone conversation cannot decide how grief ought to progress. More detailed assessment may be appropriate where depression, trauma symptoms or prolonged grief are possible. New physical symptoms still need suitable assessment and should not be dismissed because they began during bereavement.

One discussion may only identify the next useful step. You do not need to have words for every feeling, and a pause or a trusted supporter may help if you choose. If your ability to eat, rest, manage essential needs or remain safe is worsening, seek timely help rather than waiting for grief to settle on its own.

What to prepare

• Note what has changed emotionally and practically since the loss.
• Describe sleep, appetite, contact with others and essential daily tasks.
• List support available and any help you would prefer to avoid.
• Choose whether you want someone you trust present during the discussion.

Sources

• NHS: Grief after bereavement or loss
• NHS Every Mind Matters: Bereavement and traumatic events
• NHS: Depression in adults

Related guides

• Low mood and loss of interest
• Trauma-related symptoms and PTSD concerns
• Stress and feeling burnt out